It was impressed upon my heart to write this blog when I was feeling my most vulnerable as a photographer, as a creator, as a mom…as a human. As much as these stories are about couples, and as much as we dream about adventures and epic images, the journey is often deeper than that.
Winter often feels brutal in our beloved PNW–we know its coming every year but manage to tune out it’s hum, running through grassy fields and hanging out in EPIC late fall sunsets. This year has brought frigid temperatures and quite enough (I’m done with it) later-than-usual snow. Sessions are short and few and far in between and I find myself going absolutely stir crazy and anxious to shoot, especially when I first meet a couple like Bailey and Anna.
Often times I find my couples through social media, and through social media is how we most often get to know each other before our first in person meeting or shoot.
Bailey is the type of spirit that you can feel through her IG feed–effervescent, funny and sunny. Anna, her girlfriend, is ridiculously fashionable from her coats to her shoes, a quiet voice of reason and equally hilarious. Together they are a force.
It was freezing, and I do mean in the ‘teens freezing. We ran back and forth over and over to my Jeep to warm up before running back out again, climbing under and over fences to get these images. The in between times we talked about goals, about family, about really candid things like anxiety. Real life shit.
You can get to know so much about the humans around you, even just in an hour. A photo session is never just a session to me.
I want to be clear that as a human, I don’t always feel inspired. Days like today I am scrolling through literally hundreds of images, all beautiful, and feeling like I’ve failed each and every person I’ve every photographed. Feeling like I could be better. Feeling like I should be better. More relevant. Trendier. Days like today feel like a defeat, at least momentarily.
My goal this year was to be more vulnerable in everything, and so I am. I have a hard time NOT being open. The art of capturing memories is such an important job and I feel so extremely lucky to do this. The images we create together are amazing, but wouldn’t be possible if not for those in-between times, warming up in the Jeep, seeing pieces of your heart and sharing some of mine with you. Getting stuck in the fence (ok, just me).
Amazing is not equal all the time to mountain tops. Adventure does not have to be anything but a quiet road. Epic is the ability to get closer, lay in the grass, forget the temperature, get your dress dirty, to go with the crazy flow, to snort laugh, to cry.
For anyone who is feeling the same way as me, get out. Make connections. Take a deep breath. Stop being so hard on yourself. Break out of the box, and in all things, be patient with yourself.
So even on those days, I remind myself not to skip the journey. I really thank you for trusting me. Cheers to so many adventures to come this year.
PS spring–holla at ya girl.
